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The fact that you honestly don’t care about anyone but yourself is sadly not surprising. I have spent the last 3 years fighting for you and for what?! To get kicked to the curb each and everytime. I never gave up. Not even when I had the world telling everything horrible about you which I knew was true. I wanted so badly for you to prove them all wrong about you. But you proved me wrong about you. I have never done anything that I have done for you for anyone else ever in my life. And the thanks I get is you kicking me down til I was at the center of the earth and still dropping a boulder in me to have me sink lower. Thank you for showing me that I mean absolutely nothing to you and more importantly that I never did.

I wonder,
How many nights should I stay up to be sure that they won’t come up with you?
How many mornings should I welcome to be sure that you wont show up?
How many years should spend eyes shut so I would open them on the sound of your steps toward me?
For how many years should I cry so I can lose the habit of crying when talking about you?
For how many years should I say goodbye so I would be sure that you left?
For how many years should I swim toward you so I can be sure that you’re not on the other river side?
For how many years should I be crazy so I don’t put my mind in front of a reality that doesn’t contain you?
For how many years should I suffer so I lose the appetite for longing you?
For how many years should I scream so the news of my sadness reaches you?
How many years should I be sitting in dark so I lose the fear of your absence?
How many years should I be writing on hot coals so I can lose the habit of writing to you?
How many years should I be wondering so the luck make us meet again?
For how many years should I look in the crowd looking for a copy of you?
How many years should I sleep so I lure myself to think that you were only a dream?
For how many years should I die so I can kill you inside of me?
And how many years should I be dead so I can forget you?

And how many years should I hit myself so I can torture you beneath my skin?

Shahrazad Al-Khalij (via surbeat)
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